To be assertive doesn’t mean being rude or mean. It also does not mean being annoying or pushy, instead, it means being truthful while getting things done.
Steps toward Being Assertive
1. A person who is learning to be assertive must be conscious about his appearance. How he looks tells the world a lot about what he really is. People who wear clothes that look sloppy would never be taken seriously by anyone. Even a woman who puts on too much make up and who slouches when she walks would be laughingstock for everyone. Power dressing or Dressing up for Success would make anyone appear respectable and dignified.
2. Much can be told of a person even before he opens his mouth to prove himself. When nervous, it is best to still act graceful and dignified. Showing signs of nervousness or uncertainty would send people the message that an individual lacks confidence. All people have a certain area of expertise and they also have areas to improve on. With the latter, it is advisable to ask questions and not be ashamed of it. Looking at people in the eye while talking to them is also a sign of confidence. This could be quite hard for some people who are timid or naturally shy but it must be conquered so that brushing off would be avoided.
3. The tone of a person’s voice also tells much about his total being. Using a clear and calm voice is imperative especially during tense circumstances. The status of the person spoken to must not change the way they have to be dealt with. Speaking to a corporate boss should be no different from talking to the maid. Conciseness, respect, and confidence should all be depicted in a person’s voice. And as age old as this lesson on manners have been taught to everyone, still, it remains a good behavior to say “Excuse me…” when people do not hear what one has to say.
4. Attacking people in customer service is a definite no no. These people are just following policies that are set by their respective companies and it is too wrong to vent out on them. An assertive individual will be able to direct his frustration into solving the problem and not at venting out on innocent people.
5. An assertive person is also not afraid to speak out even if someone tries to push him around. Assertiveness is all about choosing the right kind of words, timing and proper delivery of the message. Getting the message across does not mean putting oneself on the same level as the aggressor. An assertive person knows his worth yet he does not flaunt it to make other people feel inferior, nor is he a doormat.
Real Assertiveness
People often misconstrue assertiveness as being aggressive. There is one big difference between the two, though. Aggressiveness evokes confrontations while assertiveness is all about coming up with solutions in a calm manner. There should be no confusion—one is a negative behavior and the other is all about goodwill and answering concerns. Assertiveness is all about appropriateness and being congenial even amidst adversity.
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